Written by Angela
I love visitors. I take them to the beach. I take them to plastic-chaired eateries. I take them to pole dancing competitions. I take them to Bangla. Sometimes I even go Hi-So and take them to fancy beach bar for a Sunday afternoon of sun/fun. I love showing off my new home – (genital) warts and all.
By the end of the month I will have had 4 sets of visitors in 5 weeks. Yes, correct, I am popular. The only thing they have in common is that I met them all when I lived in Singapore.
The first set, were a bunch of my girls. We all met separately and hung and created mayhem. And long may it continue. I love it that, in my absence, they have become solid friends. A foot girl, a horse whisperer in training and the most unlikely maths teacher you have ever met. Oh, and Steve. Bless him…he coped well with talk of boys, periods, boys, boobs, boys, alcohol, boys and well…boys. We definitely got our Hi-So shaking. Xana on Saturday and Bliss on Sunday. Sunburn and hangovers ensued.
The next friend is a boy I literally picked up in a bar. As in talked to and became mates. I don’t know what you were inferring there Chickies! He is looking to move his business here – Singapore is simply too expensive. He loved the comparative freedom here and I couldn’t agree more. Give me open spaces, swimmable beaches and chaos over law, order and no chewing gum, anytime. This one loved the cheap beer. He loved it a lot.
Today, the Brazilian Dancing Bean is here. I met him a number of times on dance floors, watching DJ’s and getting sweaty. That is the beauty of travelers…”How do you know each other?” stories. He is at the other end of the spectrum, 6 months solid on the road, 12 more to go. My challenge for this visitor is to find the cheapest, most cheerful entertainment. Pole dancing and 69 Baht cocktails it is.
Next week my ex boyfriend’s ex bosses wife comes to stay. Read that line again, it will become clear. She is a hilarious Glaswegian lassie, who will have no qualms about telling the dirty old farang men what she thinks of them. All the while drinking whiskey like it is water.
It seems that there is another common denominator amongst all my friends. They love to drink. Oh my aching, aching liver.
For the record, I am on an alcohol free week. I lasted 1.5 days.
“It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Angela is a fearless and tireless ambassador for all that is good in this world – especially if it involves wine and cheese. This self confessed hedonist is taking a break from her life of international fame and fortune to volunteer in Phuket for 6 months with a charity called Phuket Has Been Good To Us. Although she has lived in some fabulous other countries, she is a first time migrant to Thailand, having previously visited a number of times to work on her tan and learn how to drink from buckets.
Angela asserts her right to be identified as the author of this work. All copyright and/or pictures are the property of the author.